"How Good do We Have to Be?"

Well I just finished reading Harold Kushner's book, How Good do We Have to Be? and I was strangely moved by his writing. This was an unusual choice for me to read--usually I nod away from those supposed "self-enlightening" books in favor of traditional chic-lit or actual literature, but I really enjoyed his writings and perspectives, and I can see how much of his observations play out in my own life.

Kushner, a Jewish rabbi, explores the Bible story of Adam and Eve and its implications for those who interpret it one way verses another. He helps the reader to see how their relationships with family, siblings, spouses, and society can be routed to his or her "learned" interpretation. I like the way that Kushner, throughout his book, reiterates the message that, "No one person is perfect," and that as a society we need to accept the "flaws" of those in our lives and reassure the person that we still love them in spite of them. I also was moved by his redefining of the terms "guilt" and "shame." According to Kushner, guilt is feeling bad about something we have knowingly done that is wrong, for instance, robbing a bank. However, he defines shame as feeling bad about yourself for not meeting up to your own or society's perception of the perfect or ideal. In other words, a person might be ashamed of oneself for robbing the bank because now they are no longer the good little boy or girl that their parents raised them to be, and now the whole world knows it.

Kushner explains the story of Adam and Eve in great depth throughout his book, and I found it extremely moving and applicable to my own life. Since finishing the book, I have found myself daily reminding myself that it is alright not to be perfect, and that I am still OK if I make mistakes. As long as I am doing what I feel is my best in my own life, I am doing the right thing. My parents, my husband, and my friends will still love me as they have been loving me my whole life in spite of things I have done, good or bad.

I never thought I would "blog" about a book--but Kushner's tale is one that I recommend for all to read to gain a more positive perspective on their own lives and their relationships with those they love. I know that reading it definitely made a difference to me.