...so sad

..so much for taking care of me...I am stuck in horrible NJ....my Grandma passed away. I am so sad, but I do not know how to express myself and let others see how I feel. She meant so much to me, and from her I learned so many lessons about life, both implied and explicit. She led a difficult life, from living through WWII in Belgium, to being forced to marry my grandfather, to moving to the US against her will and having to live her life out in a strange land. I love my grandma with the "Brooklyn" accented English, and I am so sad that I will not have her to speak to each week. I miss her already, and am sad that she will never get to meet her future grandchildren (if I have any for her), and she will never get to see me after I move to Thailand. Christmas Eve, my favorite family time was not the same this year because she was so sick.....and it will never be the same again. I am so sad........